Unhelpful Teen

B)      “It’s not me, it’s you. I hate you. Get out of my house.”

C)      Tell them your new girlfriend doesn't like you dating other people.

D)     Frame them for a crime they didn't commit so they go to jail.

E)      Tell them you've joined the Dark Side.

F)      Move without telling them.

G)     “Roses are red

Violets are blue

You make me

Uncontrollably vomit”

H)     It’s not you… IT’S A ME, MARIO!

  

I)        “I’m… I’m Batman.”

J)       Be sure to avoid breaking up with them near any sharp objects, moving vehicles or bottles of cyanide.

K)      Change your Facebook relationship status to “single” without telling them.

L)       “You’re the Coca-Cola to my Mento.”

M)   “You’re just not really necessary in my life. My right hand is a wonderful lover.”

N)     “Wait, we were dating?”

O)     If you’re dating Taylor Swift just wait for a few days and all the work will be done for you.

P)      “So this is a little weird coming from a man and all but, well, I’m pregnant.”

Q)     “You’re just not really my type. I prefer a woman who can be inflated.”

R)      Send them on a treasure hunt which eventually ends with a break-up note.

S)      Get someone else to do it for you, such as:

-          A parent

-          A barbershop quartet

-          Your imaginary friend

-          An assassin

-          They can just do it themselves, right?

T)      “I’m just going to come right out and say it. I thought you were a cow. I’m cowsexual. Please get out.”

U)     “Remember when I asked you out? Yeah, sorry, I was talking to the girl behind you.”

V)     “WE INTERRUPT THIS RELATIONSHIP TO BRING YOU SOME BREAKING NEWS – YOUR MUM IS REALLY HOT.”

W)   Oh, hi Sarah! Wait… was it Susan? Samantha? It doesn't even start with an ‘S’, does it? You kind of look like an Amanda. Or a Betty. Can I have a clue? Just a minute, I’ll phone a friend."

X)      “I've just finished writing your monthly ‘Girlfriend Performance Rating’ and, well, I’m afraid you failed to meet necessary requirements."

Y)       "My goldfish died. I… I just need some time alone to sort myself out."

Z)      "GREAT NEWS! I’M MOVING TO NARNIA! GOODBYE!"