A) Force
the order taker to tell you, in detail, what they are wearing.
B) Ask
how many kittens were killed in the making of the pizza.
C) Attempt
to order a slice of pizza.
D) Ask
to see a menu.
E) Attempt
to rent a pizza.
F) After
they start talking, act confused and say “Oh sorry, I meant to call the
phone-sex line. Goodbye.”
G) Say
every word in a different accent.
H) Do
not use the word “pizza” during the entire conversation. If your order taker
uses the word, scream and hang up.
I)
Ask the order-taker if they are on their period,
as they sound particularly angry. (Especially effective when they are male.)
J) Put
them on hold.
K) Tell
the order taker you’re depressed. Force them to cheer you up.
L) Complain
that the last pizza you ordered didn't have any crust on the top.
M) When
the order taker tells you the price, start crying and hang up.
N) Ask
for your pizza to be shaken, not stirred.
O) Ask
if the pizza has had its rabies shot.
P) Communicate
your preferred toppings through the use of anagrams, to test the order-takers
problem-solving skills.
Q) At
the start of the conversation tell the order taker that you have a competitor
on the other line (think Dominos vs. Pizza Hut) and that you will buy from
whoever gives you the lowest price.
R) Ask
if “another pizza” is an appropriate topping.
S) Ask
them to deliver the pizza under a bridge in any shady area of your
neighborhood.
T) After
you've given the order taker your address, casually mention that this might be
the address of your sex dungeon. And that you’re looking forward to their
visit.
U) Call
Dominos pretending to be a drunk Pizza Hut manager. Act as aggressive and
intoxicated as anybody surely can over the phone. “Come at me, bro”, “Get back
to your own parts” and “I will murder your family” should be expressions used
often.
V) Tell
the order taker that in order to have the honor of taking your order they have
to pass a short test. The only question is, “Who invented pizza?”
W) When
they repeat your order say, “Try again, with a little more feeling this time.”
X) Ask
the order-taker to sculpt your pizza into the face of Harry Styles.
Y) Attempt
to order diet water.
Z) Ask
if the pizza guy could “pick me up some tampons while you’re at it.” (Extra
points if you’re a guy.)
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