13) How to create your own holiday

Have you ever looked at yourself and thought, “I’m pretty much the most awesome person who ever lived! Why on earth don’t I have my own national holiday?!?” What’s that? No? Oh. Yeah, me neither.

(Just in case you, sorry, we, change our mind, here’s how to go about organising the best day of the year.  

A)           Decide what your holiday will be in celebration of. Mine will of course be all me and my amazing life. Be sure not to pick one that already exists though! Here are a few weird holidays nobody has ever heard of:

- January 25th: Opposite Day (This is an actual day! I thought people just made it up to win arguments!)

- April 9th: Name Yourself Day (I will now be known as… Bobby John Fizzle Wizzle!)

- March 13th: National Open An Umbrella Indoors Day (so gangsta)

- December 10th: Festival for the Souls of Dead Whales (Umm… alrighty then.)

- November 6th: Marooned Without a Compass Day (a.k.a dehydration and death day)

- March 16th: Everything You Do Is Right Day (Well, this could get interesting…)

- First Sunday of April: “Kanamara Matsuri” (I’m sure this is considered extremely normal in Japan but my Westernised mind finds it slightly hilarious and weird that there is a celebration with a large penis as the centerpiece.)

- March 10th: International Day of Awesomeness (Okay, this one isn't weird. I’m actually glad that this is a recognised day, and it’s on Chuck Norris’s birthday . Yeah, that guy.)

- February 9th: Toothache Day (So, err… why are we celebrating this?)

- March 26th: Make Up Your Own Holiday Day (And guess what day this post was published on?)

Hint – Not March 26th.

B) Once you've decided what your holiday will celebrate, perhaps you could come up with some story surrounding it. You know, like Santa. (Who, to any five year olds reading this, is DEFINITELY REAL.)
On my holiday, a kangaroo called Martin will travel across the world delivering a chicken nugget to everybody who has professed their love for me (Through multiple visits to his local gym, Martin has amassed a significant amount of leg muscle, which allows him to travel 100 thousand kilometers in one jump.)

People who do not regularly look at pictures of me and groan in pleasure will be told they a receiving a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie, which will turn out to be a raisin cookie. Haha. 

C) Let everyone know about your new holiday! Tell people in the street! Scream out of windows! Hand out leaflets! Use the interwebs! Send a message in a bottle! Talk about it on TV! Send carrier pigeons! Use Batman-style silhouettes! Wonder what this post is actually about! Do other things!

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