15) How to be weird in a supermarket

A)     Lock yourself in a freezer. Scream “Pick me!” when somebody opens it.

B)      When somebody speaks over the intercom, fall to your knees and scream, “The voices are talking to me again!”

C)      If you accidentally knock over any displays, just pretend to be blind. Nobody’s going to get angry at a blind guy.

D)     Put boxes of condoms in people’s trolleys when they aren't looking.

E)      When a shop assistant asks if you need help, start crying and tell them you just want to be alone.

F)      Run around the supermarket naked, claiming you ran out of toilet paper.

G)     Try and put on all the clothes in the clothing department.

H)     Get physical with the mannequins.

I)        Try and buy a shopping cart.

J)       Buy a live lobster and set it free in the supermarket.

K)      Ask a shop assistant if they have any food suitable for sacrificial offerings.

L)       Ride the conveyor belts on checkout lines. Assure people you are fully purchasable.

M)   Wear a “Caution, wet floor” sign as a hat.

N)     Point accusingly at a banana and say, “I thought you were waiting in the car!”

O)     Lecture the fresh fruit on your plans for world domination.

P)      Put your own surprises in the cereal boxes. (as disgusting as you like)

Q)     Grab a pineapple and scream, “Are you in there, Spongebob?”

R)      Ask a shop assistant if the walls are for sale.

S)      Pretend to be a mannequin.

T)      Superglue a coin to the floor and see how many people try and pick it up.

U)     Buy a balaclava and baseball bat.

V)     Make disgusting noises in the restroom.

W)   Take a stand against toaster imprisonment and release all of them into the wild.

X)      Buy a goldfish and ask the assistant if it comes with chips.

Y)      Wear a bicycle helmet and inform others you have to for your ‘astronaut training.’

Z)      Go up to people and scream, “NO MEANS NO!”

Any other ideas?
Also check out how to be weird in an elevator/lift! 

1 Response to "15) How to be weird in a supermarket "

  1. Perenelle says:
    15 June 2013 at 09:31

    This is too funny - though kind of unhelpful? *laughs to herself*

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